Mind of Migg

I thought proclaiming on a blog post that I was ready to get back to work would be enough motivation on its own.  I was wrong.  The thing is, I was healthy again a few weeks ago, but two things happened – 1) lots of rain and I never do well in gloomy weather, and 2) I wasn’t over finishing my TV Pilot.

Finishing any piece of writing is a great thing.  There’s a sense of overwhelming relief and elation, even if it’s something as short as a pilot or a short story.  Page length is not a factor in difficulty of getting word to paper.  The next couple days are an emotional high of satisfaction.

Unfortunately, after that the panic starts to sink in.  What’s the next project going to be?  Is it going to be as good as the one just finished?  What if I can’t even think of a new idea?  That’s one part of it.  The other part is that the writing process might be painful sometimes, but it’s always fulfilling.  There’s an emptiness when a project is complete and it’s no longer with you every day.  It’s a downer.

I thought maybe this time, I could overwhelm myself with other writing.  Dive right in to a new project.  I had plenty to choose from.  But I hadn’t attached myself onto any of them yet.  They were all cool, but I wasn’t excited about any of them.  So I dabbled a little on all of them, not really getting anything done the last few weeks.  I finally accepted the fact that I had to allow some in-between time and also settle on only one new project.  Forcing the issue was only making things take longer.

Trying to convince myself that the period when I was sick a few weeks ago counted as my writing time off fooled nobody.  I’ve settled on the next project (my Doctor Who spec) and finally moved past my period of mourning the ending of my pilot.  It’s full speed ahead, for real this time.

On a side note, I didn’t understand why I felt so sluggish and tired the last two to three weeks even though I was fully healthy.  It wasn’t until I mentioned to Violet that it had been a solid two weeks since I tried to cut back my coffee that I made the connection.  No idea why I hadn’t considered it before.  I’m down to one cup of coffee and maybe one tea a day, which is way down from the 3 plus cups of coffee I was at earlier.  My body is suffering, but I haven’t cracked yet, and I think I’m finally starting to adjust.  I’ll be off my caffeine addiction in no time.

In order to maintain my sanity (and my paycheck) I’ve come to treat my time working at the Seattle’s Best Café inside Borders as a large social experiment.  Based on the last few posts I’ve made about my experience thus far, it wasn’t a reach to take this attitude.  It only meant that I observed all behavior through the lens of research rather than through the lens of “I hate my life”.  Being a café worker making enough to cover my gas and lunch money is depressing.  Being witness to all kinds of interesting social behavior is fascinating.

Observation #1:

People follow groups

People don’t get in line one at a time.  There are a lot of people that spend hours in the café.   They’ll buy drinks and snacks here and there throughout the day.  But they won’t do it when there’s no line.  Oh no.  They’ll wait until they see others walking up to the line.  Once there are two people in line, you can count on a third and fourth person stepping up.  It’s as if the line creates a sense of urgency.  The same thing happens at the checkout register downstairs.  “We need to hurry.  Others appear to be leaving.”  It’s like the retail equipment of keeping up with the Jones’.  “If he’s buying a coffee, I’m buying one now too.”

This works with the tip jar too.  I haven’t done a control (because I don’t want to risk a day of crappy tips), but adding a dollar at the beginning of the day to the tip jar makes a huge difference.  If I let people decide on their own what kind of tip day it’s going to be, I’ll see a handful of pennies and nickels.  In fact, most people won’t even notice it’s there with a few coins.  Dollar bills hanging out of a jar sends a pretty clear message.

Observation #2:

Large retailers aren’t bothering to adapt to changing technology

I can go to Amazon, read reviews, and make a purchase with all of my information already stored.  One click and they’re shipping to my apartment.  The Borders.com website doesn’t have reviews.  It doesn’t offer similar recommendations.  Borders only recently began offering free shipping to items that weren’t in stock in-store.  About two years too late.

They also only recently started offering a Sony reader.  Amazon has Kindle.  Barnes & Noble finally got their own reader.  Borders brought out the Sony reader just in time for the 2007 2009 holiday season.  You seeing a trend here?

Now, there is the argument for the experience of the bookstore.  You can count me in the group that says there is something special and fun about browsing a bookstore.  Technology these days has made most people mindlessly nod their head in disagreement.  But technology has made people connected in new ways.  Want to share what you’re reading with others?  There’s probably an app for that.  So why don’t bookstores find a way to make bookstores an experience?  Why not tap into that?  It’s a sad day when retail bookstores are shut down because people would rather click a button than walk around and take in the smell of real books.

Observation #3

The few people that do actually go to a store to buy things aren’t tech savvy.

There’s a reason why they’re still going to the bookstore.  These aren’t the browsers and book lovers that I just spoke about.  No, these are the people that cringe when they hear e-mail and can’t find a way to make purchases online.  Before I became an employee, I always preferred Borders to Barnes & Noble because they had computers that customers could use to search for items.  Barnes & Noble has “employee only” computers.  No, you can’t touch.  At least you can help with your browsing at Border.  Don’t remember the exact title?  Type in some keywords.  It even tells you which section it’s in and everything.  Follow the map and you can’t go wrong.  Or can you?

Things are organized into rationally categorized topics, but that doesn’t stop the angry computer illiterate customers.  They don’t just ask for help, they’ll demand it.

“Excuse me, there is nobody here, can you help me find a DVD?”

“No, but I can call someone to help you.”

(exasperated)”Yes, please do that.”

I’m sorry, but I’ve never sought out help at a Best Buy to find a DVD.  I’ve always though Drama/Action/Comedy/Horror were self-explanatory.  I guess that’s just me.

It’s strange the things that make people angry.  Some people act offended when I offer them a free Borders Rewards card.  They can’t deal with the “spam”.  I had a card before I became a barista because I always write out at a Borders café.  I just did a quick scan of my inbox and found 10 coupons since the beginning of the year.  These are all coupons – they are offers for discounts and notices of new items.  I’m sorry, but if 10 emails of discounts from a store you buy from time to time in six weeks are too much for you, I question your familiarity with e-mail.  It’s no different than Amazon, Bev-Mo, or Apple emails that take me half a second to delete unless something in the subject line catches my eye.

Worse are the people who go to exorbitant lengths to lie their way out of a card.  Just say no, it’s not that difficult you passive-aggressive jerk (and yes, I’ve told someone they could’ve just said “no thanks” after being caught in a clear lie.).

But enough ranting.  Those last few paragraphs strayed from my point.  It’s all a social experiment.  These behaviors and memorable lines will be invaluable to my writing for years to come.  The more I let myself laugh about it, the less bitter it makes me.  To close, two gems since the last time:

Old man – That drink the woman just picked up, it looks really good.  What is that?

Me – That’s an iced coffee.

Old Man – I’ll take one of those.

Me – One iced coffee?

Old Man – Yes.

Five minutes later…

Old Man – I can’t drink this.  Here, throw out the rest of it.

Me – Is there something wrong with it?

Old Man – It’s cold.  I wanted a hot drink.  I thought it was a hot drink.

At the register…

Me – Would you like a Borders Rewards card?  It’s free.

Old Lady – A what?  Sure.

Me (realizing this might be a bad idea since it requires an e-mail address or it’s useless) – You need an e-mail address to sign up.  Do you have an e-mail address?

Old Lady – Yes, I’d like a card.

Me – Okay, what is your e-mail address?

Old Lady – 1622 North…

Me – No, your e-mail address.

Old Lady – Oh.  1622…

Me – No.  Not your home address.

Old Lady – What?

Me – Your e-mail address.

Old Lady – (slower) 1622 S. Jones Street*

Me – I need your e-mail address.

Old Lady – E-mail?  I don’t have e-mail, I’m too old for that.

*Changed the actual address to protect the confused.

It took me a long time to see Avatar, longer than I had planned.  I didn’t want to get caught up in the hype, but I knew I had to experience it on the big screen in 3-D to fully appreciate it, so I finally made the time.

Yes, it’s true that it’s not a very original story.  Pocahontas, Fern Gully, Dances With Wolves.  The story of the man who gets to know the natives, and them helps them fight against his own people has been told before.  But that’s never reason enough alone to knock a film.  Everyone thought Vanilla Sky was original, but we all know it wasn’t.  Most stories have been told before, but if it is well executed, with an original twist, then there’s nothing wrong with that.

That is exactly what Avatar is.  The original twist is the amazing visuals of the film.  Pandora is a uniquely beautiful planet with creatures and landscapes one can barely dream of – strange animals, floating land with waterfalls, and a scientific explanation for the connectedness of all the living creatures (dealt with more deftly than the midichlorian attempt).  Sure Captain Obvious delivered every line of politically charged dialogue, but it didn’t bother me.  I knew I was getting into a tried and true storyline, and so long as I enjoyed the ride, I didn’t care that I knew where the ups, downs, and curves were.

The cool visuals, of course, are what made this movie an experience.  I’ve been adamantly opposed to the use of 3-D.  It’s a gimmick and it doesn’t bring anything of value to the movie-going experience.  It’s like adding extra whipped cream on top of the cherry – after so much, you forget that what you really wanted to enjoy was the ice cream at the bottom.  I will admit that the 3-D made the digital characters look and feel more real.  I did like the effect of small bugs flying around off the screen.  But I hated every swing or move directed at the camera that was a “hey, look at the cool stuff 3-D can do!” moment.  It would pull me out of the movie I was enjoying.  In summary, atmospheric use of 3-D: good, blatant gimmick use: bad.

As much as I enjoyed this movie, I will be a little disappointed if it wins best picture at the Oscars.  To quote Roger Ebert, while listing potential nominees, “Yes, it’s a phenomenon and I loved the experience.  But the best film?  Not compared to those other titles it isn’t.”  More than anything, it’s an experience.  It’s a breakthrough in technology in movies and for that it should be applauded.  But a well told rehashed story should not be valued over richer stories such as “The Hurt Locker” or “Up In the Air”.  No matter how much money it makes.

I hate fantasy football.  I also love fantasy football.  It’s so addicting and absorbing that once you’re into it, there’s no turning back.  I had a good start to my fantasy football career.  I won the league title back-to-back years, and took first in the regular season the other year.  I felt unstoppable.  Once we shifted to a pay league that included keepers, I knew I would be winning championships for years to come.

Only, it didn’t happen that way.  I feel like the 90’s Buffalo Bills.  I have great regular seasons, a good team, and continually fall short of winning the title.  The problem is, no matter how much you plan, how effectively you strategize, and who your players are, there’s always a factor of complete luck.  You’re dealing with nothing but statistics.  There’s no team chemistry, there’s no on the fly game adjustment, or substitutions.  You pick the players that you believe give you the greatest statistical chance of winning and then wait and watch.

It’s practically torture.  You can build a team that appears invincible and then watch as a bunch of no names steal touchdowns from you while playoff teams rest their starters down the stretch.  That is exactly what happened to me this year.  A combination of injuries and bad luck led to yet another disappointing year.

What made it sting more is that I gave up a lot thinking I was in a great position to win it all.  I gave up future draft picks and quality keepers.  I managed to get DeAngelo Williams when I already had Ray Rice, Joseph Addai, and Marion Barber (we start 3 rb’s).  I also swung a last second deal for Chad Ochocinco for the stretch run.  But then it all went downhill.

Here’s what happened during my semi-final matchup:

-       Ochocinco and Donal Driver had very similar stats and played teams with similar pass defenses.  Following the “go with who got you there” mentality, I went with Driver.  Result?  Similar receiving yards, but Ochocinco had a touchdown and a long run.  Difference – about 7 points left on my bench.

-       DeAngelo Williams ran for only 13 yards before leaving his game with an injury.  On my bench, Marion Barber rushed for two touchdowns.  Difference – about 15 points left on my bench.

-       Kurt Warner threw a pass backwards to Anquan Boldin for a touchdown.  They would later rule it a lateral and rushing td instead of a passing td, so my opponent, who starter Warner, would lose 6 points, increasing my chances.

-       But of course, he gets two touchdowns from, of all people Fred Davis and Steve Smith.  Sure Smith had a lot of yards this season, but he only had 7 td’s, one of those being the week I played him.  And Fred Smith?!  C’mon!

In the end, after subtracting the Warner touchdown, I lost by only six points.  It was heartbreaking.  What made it worse is the fact that in the following finals week, my points total in the third place game would’ve been enough to win it all had I advanced.  But that’s the way fantasy football goes.  You can have the highest scoring players at every position, but when the end of the season is near, and teams are resting up for the playoffs, you can watch your guys go scoreless while backups like Fred Davis go wild.  Bring on next season.

Sometimes it’s good to slow things down.  I had just finished a screenplay, and between juggling two jobs I commute to, one virtual job based out of India, and my own writing and producing, I was beat.  Combine that with the gloomy weather and my productivity took a nosedive.  I had a cold that didn’t quite become the flu, but wouldn’t go away either.  There was a lot of work to be done, but beyond forcing myself to go to my first two jobs, it was nearly impossible to get any of my own work done at home.

So instead of trying to fight it, I did something else.  I took a break.  After a few sad attempts at doing some writing last week, I didn’t even think about opening Word or Final Draft until this week.  I wasn’t feeling the creativity and I was only making myself feel worse physically.  I took a step back, got plenty of rest, cooked some great meals, and did some mindless video game playing (something I hadn’t done in a really long time).  Mindless nonsense is actually surprisingly effective for breaking writer’s block.  You’re much more likely to clear your head and get a creative spark when it’s not at the front of your mind or task list.

This week, I feel refreshed, the sun is out again, and I’m ready to work.  Back to our regular schedule.

Despite what some say, 30 Minute Meals is a good thing.  There’s a lot of Rachael Ray hate out there, but I don’t really see it as justified.  She’s not a chef, but she never claimed to be.  She is exactly who she says she is and simply because she’s built a food empire out of a personality rather than gourmet dishes doesn’t mean it’s ok to bash her as a fake or phony.  Unless you’re jealous and petty.

I’ve recently been taken with Anthony Bourdain.  Love his travel show, and love his books now.  After watching Julie and Julia, I’ve become inspired to learn French cooking.  I browsed through the classic Julia Child original French cookbook, but settled on the Bourdain book because it had a modern take on the same recipes and was an entertaining read.  I feel like I can learn a lot from it.

Back to Rachael Ray.  As I looked up more about Bourdain, I found an entertaining blog post http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/02/guest_blogging_.html where he bashed many of the Food Network stars, and complimented a few (like my favorites, Emeril and Alton Brown).  His criticism of Rachel Ray was similar in tone to others I’ve heard: “Her recipes are crap.”  “She’s not even a chef.”  “She says things like EVOO.”  I suppose from the perspective of real chefs, she was dumbing down the general knowledge of her audience and teaching people to make lower quality meals.  To a certain degree they are right, if her viewers watched her and only her, and then proceeded to make nothing outside of her many cookbooks (which mostly repeat the same recipes over and over substituting a few small ingredients here and there to call it different).  But everyone has to start somewhere, right?

Enter me, circa 2005.  Violet and I had just moved in together and started learning to be domestic.  The dishes I knew how to cook included spaghetti, hamburger helper, chilidogs, and fish sticks.  I didn’t know how to make anything from scratch.  But I did enjoy the Food Network.  Her easy dishes and chipper attitude sucked me in.  Her black bean stoup was probably my first successful dish outside of my comfort zone. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/black-bean-stoup-and-southwestern-monte-cristo-sandwiches-recipe2/index.html After that, I was making marinara sauce from scratch instead of buying it from the can.  Then it was pork chops with homemade applesauce, meatballs, and fried rice.  I started learning that it was fun and easy to avoid pre-packaged foods.  It was healthier and tasted a whole lot better.

From there, my interest in cooking only grew.  I graduated to a Mexican cuisine cookbook and then Gordon Ramsey’s.  His mushroom risotto is probably my favorite dish.  My learning curve is growing more now that I’m trying some of the new French recipes in Anthony Bourdain’s book too.  I’m brave enough to try different things or tweak recipes I find online to my liking.  Recently, I looked up one of my old go-to’s, the fried rice recipe in Rachael Ray’s cookbook and thought, “I can do way more with this now.”  And I did.  I have to give credit where credit is due though.

Thanks to Rachael Ray, I’m a halfway decent home cook.  Her recipes were tasty and easy enough to give me the confidence to continue trying new things while cooking. And her show recipes still come in handy for when we’re in a hurry, but would like to avoid going out or making something processed.  I’ve gone from chilidogs to Beef Bourguignon in no time.  So I disagree with Anthony Bourdain’s statement that she’s “selling mediocrity”.  Some of her viewers were actually inspired to learn more.

“You be careful.  Because your song is ending, sir.”

Those were the words of warning in the first Doctor Who special of 2009.  And then this:

“He will knock four times.”

(Watch the scene for yourself here)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBMPTsI-PL0

Doctor Who fans like me were left hanging, wildly speculating on what this meant.  Everyone thought it was obviously a reference to The Master, and his sound of the drums (duh duh duh duh).  But David Tennant and Julie Gardner had this to say on the Planet of the Dead commentary:

David: “…and if you think you’ve figured out what that means, you’re wrong!”

Julie: “But when you do figure it out, it’s a sad day.”

She was absolutely right.  It was a sad day indeed.

The rest of the post includes spoilers, so if you haven’t seen “The End of Time” yet – 1) what are you waiting for!  And 2) don’t read this if you want to be surprised when you do watch it.

Everyone knew David Tennant would be leaving his run as the Doctor after the four specials of 2009.  It was only a question of how.  By the time the two part “The End of Time” came around at Christmas and New Years, I was dying with anticipation.  I was so sad to see him leave, but I was tired of delaying the inevitable.  This is in part due to the great episode, “The Waters of Mars” that showed a conflicted Doctor going through the exact same emotions as the audience, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the prophecy would come to pass.

Each season of the new Who has had a progressively larger finish.  Who thought Rose looking into the heart of the TARDIS and destroying an army of Daleks would come in fifth on epicness scale?  That was followed by a Dalek/Cyberman war, the end of the world by the Master, and the theft of Earth by Davros bringing together characters from three different series.  The End of Time blew all of those finishes away.

The main reason it blew everything else away, besides the heartbreaking story, was the amazing acting.  I look forward to Wilf (Bernard Cribbins) every time he’s on an episode.  He made a great companion to the Doctor in this finale.  John Simm’s Master is so awesome.  The others were brilliant as well, and I loved the appearance of all the supporting people in this Doctor’s life, but those three in particular were the primary players.

The prophecy that I referred to earlier also had another part – “It is returning through the darkness.”  Now, there was a lot of speculation of this line also, and my thoughts about it turned out to be true.  The “it” was Gallifrey!  You’d think this would be an exciting thing, the Time Lords returning and the Doctor no longer so alone.  It would also change the landscape of the coming seasons if there were other Time Lords again.

However, this wasn’t the case.  I got chills when the Doctor, not one for violence and after refusing a gun from Wilf, takes the gun and runs when he learns that Gallifrey is returning.  The Time Lords returning wasn’t a good thing, because it meant everything about the last moments of the Time War came along with them.

A lot of mysteries from the past four seasons were revealed in these two episodes, but a lot of questions were left unanswered.  We saw whom it was that picked up the Master’s ring after the Doctor cremated him at the end of season 3, but we still don’t know who she is (ok, technically we know it’s the Doctor’s mom, but will she back again?).  We also got more tidbits of exactly what went down at the end of the Time War and why the Doctor did what he did.  We may not have had a full play by play as some had hoped, but it was more than enough for me.  We also learned why the Master had the sound of the drums in his head.  The Time Lords created a monster and drove him mad.  He did not appreciate that.  And finally, we learned who knocked four times.

Everyone (at least I did) thought the knocking part of the prophecy was over in part one when the Master knocked four times to get the Doctor’s attention.  But no, that wasn’t the final knock.  That made it even more sad and surprising when the knocks did come at the end.  Part of me even hoped that it didn’t actually mean the Doctor would “die” the same way Donna didn’t “die”.  Just as tragic, but at least he wouldn’t be gone.

It wasn’t to be.  There he was, having survived the Master, survived a leap from a speeding spaceship, fought off the Time Lords, and watched as the Master helped destroy them, when he heard it.  Four knocks.  That’s when my heart sank.  Wilf was trapped in a compartment that could only be unlocked by another person stepping into the other side.  He had trapped himself in to let an innocent scientist out.  That’s the type of person he is.  That’s also the type of person the Doctor is.  He knew he had no choice but to let Wilf out and absorb all the radiation, meaning he had no choice but to die and regenerate.  So he did.  He saved Wilf.

The new series had been building to this moment.  This isn’t the same Doctor from years ago.  He had to destroy his people and is alone now.  He finally reached a point where he’d had enough, and he wasn’t ready to go.  The Doctor carries the weight of the universe on his shoulders but does so with a smile and a run.  But he had been worn down too much this time.  That’s why it’s so heartbreaking at the end.  After all that he does, his reward is another death.  Watch the sequence for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubi1TaVlbso

This was different from previous regenerations because he had time to absorb what was going to happen.  It was bad enough to kill him, but not so bad that he couldn’t delay the regeneration for a bit.  He had a chance to say goodbye to a lot of people, Jack, Martha, Mickey, Sarah Jane, Donna, Wilf, and of course, Rose.  The tenth Doctor’s final lines are fitting.  He had saved so many people, expanded his powers, was a bit pompous sometimes, but cared so much.  Of course he didn’t want to go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQrd44v7Q6w

It was such a great end to David Tennant’s Doctor.  Strangely, I enjoyed the last few moments that introduced Matt Smith.  As much as I loved the tenth Doctor, I’m ready for the 11^th.  I feel like we’ve been saying goodbye forever.  Watching the trailer for the upcoming season of the new Doctor Who has me even more excited.  With Stevan Moffat running things now, I know it’s going to be great.  But David Tennant, you will be missed.

That is what I’m going to call this year.  That’s a good thing.  Rejection is bound to happen when you go out on a limb and try something.  You can’t expect success without some bumps along the way.  Every good salesman knows that getting to a “yes” is a numbers game with a lot of “no’s” along the way.  This is the year of putting myself out there and finding that “yes”.  I’m finally ready for all the rejection that comes with the territory.

But first, a look back at my resolutions for 2009 –

-       Get down to 185 pounds before the wedding.

Didn’t happen, but I did go from 217 to 200.  I made it halfway there, and I’m hoping to finish the other half this year.

-       Give up all soda

This went great for the first half of the year.  I would allow myself only one soda a month as a treat.  Over the Fall, things fell apart.  I’m at a point where if I have more than one a week, it feels like a lot though.  I definitely made progress and I’m going to continue to drink less of it this year.

-       Get Monsoon into production

Monsoon has been quite the roller coaster ride.  It looked like things could happen by years end, then it didn’t, then it did again.  On the bright side, I learned a lot from the setbacks and will give it a serious go this year.

-       Read more books

Success!  I’m reading scripts on a regular basis, and short stories as well.  I even got in a few fiction and non-fiction novels this year.  Looking forward to even more reading in 2010.

I think I did all right as far as resolution successes go.

Back to my rejections for this year.  No writer, or filmmaker for that matter, can sit around and wait to be “discovered” without putting out samples, and continuing to develop his skills.  I’m not going to find an agent, get a fellowship, get published, or fund a film without going out and trying to get those things.  So here is my plan for the year:

-       I will submit to as many publications as possible to get a short story published.

-       I will apply to at least 5 different writing fellowships or workshops

-       I will apply to screenwriting contests

-       I will apply to filmmaking fellowships and contests

-       I will send out query letters to at least 50 agents and managers

-       I will join a writers group

-       I will scratch, claw, and fight my way to getting Monsoon funded using as many creative funding techniques as possible (and good old fashioned, “asking everyone I know to pitch in” methods as well)

This year, I’m going to get more rejections related to my work and creativity than I’ve ever had before.  And it’s going to be fantastic.

To qualify for this list I had to either

a)    See the movie in theaters

b)   See the movie on DVD, but it was released in theaters in 2009

A disclaimer first.  There are a lot of great movies from this year that I haven’t seen yet that weren’t factored into this list.  I’m going to try to get to most of them before the Oscars, but some of the popular ones I haven’t seen yet include: Avatar, A Single Man, Crazy Heart, A Serious Man, Nine, The Messenger, Brothers, and many more I’m sure.  It’s hard to get to that many movies in a year without press or industry access.  Anyway, on to my list.

I’m not going to list them in any particular order.  It’s hard enough to choose just ten.

Precious – One of the most powerful, heart-wrenching films I’ve watched.  Amazing performances, great movie.  The final scene is a stand-out, and should singlehandedly win Mo’Nique an Oscar.

An Education – Classically well executed British film.  Alfred Molina is an overbearing father with depth, Peter Sarsgaard romances a teen yet somehow isn’t creepy, and Sally Sparrow was brilliant.

Up – If this movie doesn’t make you tear up at least a little, I don’t know what to say.  Great, honest story that deserves to be nominated along with the live action films this year.

Up in the Air – Understated movie.  It says exactly what it’s thinking, but you don’t even realize it because you’re enjoying the ride.  Also, I love Anna Kendrick.

Sin Nombre – Brutally realistic portrayal of the plight of immigrants.  I heard the actor spent years traveling on trains through Mexico like the characters in the movie.  It shows in the authenticity.

Food Inc. – This, combined with reading Michael Pollan, has convinced me to be more mindful of my diet and the food I choose to purchase.  This is a documentary done right – different perspective, clear message, more content than propaganda.

The Hurt Locker – Most intense film of the year.  My heart was pounding through most of it and I couldn’t relax at all.  I imagine it’s actually like that on a whole other level in Iraq in reality, but this film does a great job of conveying that feeling to the audience.

District 9 – Best sci-fi film of the year (until I see Avatar, at least).  Awesome explosions, cool special effects, and strong story.  You can’t ask for much more from a sci-fi and this one delivered.

(500) Days of Summer – Feel good movie of the year for me.  Zoey Deschanel is the latest manic pixie dream girl and it’s a tough character to pull off successfully, but she does here.  I think every nice guy could feel Joseph Gordon Levitt’s pain and roller coaster emotional ride.

Goodbye Solo – I’ve become a huge fan of Ramin Bahrani.  I loved Man Push Cart and Chop Shop and this latest effort was just as strong.  His movies are so quiet and tell so much with so little.

I recently completed the first rough draft of a TV drama pilot I’ve been working on.  Finishing a piece of longer work is strange.  Not only does it feel empty once it’s complete, but it also is a challenge to go back to it.  After all that effort, after all those sweat and tears, reaching “Fade Out” or “The End” is really only the beginning.

The real writing doesn’t begin until the rewrite.  This is a fairly recent discovery for me, mostly because I got away with turning in rough drafts hot off the presses all through college.  In fact, there may have only been one or two papers I actually even read before turning in.  I was lucky to pass, and extremely arrogant in my writing abilities.  I didn’t realize how much that approach hurt my writing potential.  It’s a habit I find hard to break.  Many times I have to force a deadline upon myself to finally get words to paper.

The difficult thing about editing is that the process of writing the first draft is so mentally draining.  Why edit something that already took so much effort?  Add to that the fact that once I’ve stepped away from something for a bit, I can look at it more objectively.  When that happens, my “work of art” quickly becomes a “piece of crap”.  I seriously hate going back to pieces I’ve written.  It’s like going through your digital camera after a drunken night.  You cringe wondering how sloppy those glamour shots you felt you were taking the night before actually look.  I have that same dread when I sit down to edit something I’ve written.  I go through a period of self-doubt and questioning why I keep doing what I’m doing.

At least, that was how it used to be.  Two things have happened over the last year of my writing development.  One, the pictures don’t look so bad, and two, it’s not so hard to fix the ones that do.  I suppose you could say, metaphorically speaking, that I don’t get as drunk as I used to.  Learning how to edit has helped my initial drafts.  I’ve accepted it as a natural part of the process so it allows me more freedom in my writing.

Also, I’m no longer so stubborn and defensive.  I would convince myself that what was already written was not only correct, it was as good as it could get.  Not so anymore.  I won’t hesitate to chop out what was my favorite line or paragraph.  I’ve learned that nothing is written in permanent marker.  I’ve also accepted that just because I didn’t get it right in my first go-round, doesn’t mean it’s a lack of knowledge or talent.  Re-writing is a vital part of the process.  It’s okay to edit.  It took some time to convince the “me” of college of that fact.

Knowing how to rewrite – how to recognize where to edit, what to edit, and how to edit is vital to creating a good piece of work.  I know now that it is one step of the process and not a knock against my writing to edit.