Mind of Migg

When 2012 began, I was very overweight. I had reached a point where enough was enough and decided to do something about it. After a friendly bet, a changed diet, regular running, biking to work, and walking places I used to drive, I lost 40 pounds by May. My long-term goal for the year to reach a healthy weight was 50 pounds, but once I won the bet and reached a comfortable number, I stopped a lot of the good habits I had formed over the first 5 months. It was easy to feel comfortable with where I was even if it wasn’t my final goal. There was a crossroads – I could either be complacent or I could continue being driven toward my goal. I’m going to stay driven.

I went for a run earlier this evening and was extremely tempted to stop early. During the first five months when I was focused on weight loss, I would run anywhere from 3-5 miles, but always at least the 3. Since then, I’ve run more than 3.5 miles only once and only more than 3 a handful of times. It became very easy to hit 2 miles and call it a day, feeling proud of myself just for doing anything at all. Sometimes, that’s not enough though. Tonight I finished a 3.1 mile run. I really want to finish off those last ten pounds and I’m not going to get there by settling.

I also want to make a movie. A science fiction feature film, to be exact. Chutes is all I’ve been thinking about all year. Our Kickstarter campaign launched Sunday afternoon. I have been touched and humbled by the people who have backed our project so far. But it’s not enough. We have a lofty goal of $28,000 because that is the minimum it would cost to get this thing shot. Now, given the support received so far, it would be very easy to take that same complacent attitude. “Well, it was a tough goal, but we tried.” It would be very easy to take away the support we’ve had to feel okay with defeat. But that’s not what’s going to happen.

It’s the early stage of a marathon, where the realization of how far this run actually is sets in. That moment of panic when you’re not sure what you’ve gotten yourself into. But you weather that, calm down, and keep going. We’re not even at the point of the marathon where we hit a wall. We’re just getting started. And until that counter says no time left, I will be pushing as hard as I can. The difference with this Kickstarter though, unlike my nightly runs, is that I won’t be crossing the finish line alone. There will be a whole lot of people with me by the end of this campaign. If you’re reading this, I hope you’ll be one of them.

PLEASE BACK US AND HELP US SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT CHUTES

When I started running, I enjoyed it because it seemed to be a time when I could clear my head. It was a chance to be unplugged. Very quickly though that time to clear my head became “time to get things done in my head”. Whether it was a plot device I was stuck on, or a checklist of things that needed to be done that night, I would spend the run multitasking. That was a horrible idea.

Multitasking while running sucked for several reasons. I would lose my sense of pace and either get winded too soon, or I would slow to a crawl and not get a good workout. I would lose my form and that would lead to sore knees and ankles. Sadly, my body’s fragile. Also, by the time I finished my run, my mind was a mess. I had a million things I felt I needed to get done or write down. It completed ruined the reasons I was enjoying running so much.

Now when I run, the only thing I focus on is the run itself: breathing in and out, my feet hitting the ground, my arms moving. Every so often I’ll find my mind start to wander along with a song, but I’ll always make sure to pull myself back.

It may feel counterintuitive, but thinking about nothing but my breathing during a run makes me so much more productive afterwards. That chance to clear my head, to take a moment to focus and relax, makes all the difference in the world. It’s so easy to try to multitask things to feel like you’re getting more done, but all it really does is create a constant state of busy. Sometimes the most productive thing I can do when I’m facing writer’s block is the dishes. Or take a walk. I suppose you could call it mindfulness, but I don’t think I know what I’m doing enough to call it that. The greater point is, taking time to clear your head and be conscious of the present in a world where we’re constantly surrounded by texts, emails, tweets, and low attention span drivel, is a great thing to practice.

The other night I was walking back from a Starbucks near my house. It’s only a mile away, but since it is in the mall and I live in Southern California, my natural inclination has always been to drive. Lately I’ve started running and being generally healthier, so I walk as much as I can. I’ve even walked to work (1.8 miles) a couple of times.

As I was walking back, a guy was jogging down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. He wasn’t in the best shape and was definitely struggling, but I gave him a nod of understanding. It brought to mind a great quote I’ve seen everywhere since I started running, “No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.” It’s so true and it applies to writing too. No matter how awful you think your first draft is, it’s still more words than the person who keeps talking up his story that’s never been written.

The thing that made me relate as I saw him jog by was that he was doing it pretty late at night. It was dark and there weren’t many people out. Putting yourself out there as a beginner in anything can always be intimidating. When I started running, I would make sure it was dark out and the evening traffic was clear. I could just imagine some passersby pointing and laughing as I struggled along at what could only be described as a medium-paced walk.

Over time, I got faster. My form got better. Eventually I was running well simply because I wasn’t self-conscious anymore. Sure, I’m by no means a fast runner and I’m still a ways off from my targeted health goals, but I’m confident and comfortable running. I go running right when I get home now even though the sun goes down later. It’s daylight out and there’s a long line of traffic at the intersections I run through, but I don’t even notice anymore.

I’ve written some terrible first drafts and a couple of scripts that will never see the light of day. But it took those first couple times in the dark, struggling along while getting the hang of things in order to get better. I’m more comfortable sending out my writing now than I was before. It’s by no means where I want it to be, but I know that I’ve put in that time in the dark and can have my writing out in the open now.

Writing and Running - A great combo for me

Writing has always been something I’ve loved doing. But it’s also something that is oftentimes tough to make myself start. My writing approach has tended to be very draining mentally. As I’ve grown as a writer, I’ve learned to craft stories with the help of planning and proper organization to make it less draining, but it’s always a balance.

I’ve recently started running a couple of days a week. I hated running when I was younger. I played basketball and tennis and would love running in game, but could never sustain runs of a long distance. Then this year I started. The first time I managed a little over a mile. The second time, a little more. The third time I kept going until about two miles and the fourth I passed three miles. I played sports that required short bursts of speed, so I had done plenty of wind sprints when I was younger, but never any long distance. I had never actually run more than one mile at once and didn’t think I could, especially since I’m so out of shape now.

The thing is, I’m seeing the positive effects of being consistent with the runs. In whirlwind days, where I spend all day working for a paycheck, squeezing in social media and staying on top of the latest news in web series and film where I can, and then going home and writing, editing, and producing, it’s nice to have some time completely unplugged from the world. I don’t think I had the discipline to stay disconnected and be alone with my thoughts when I was younger, which is why I hated running so much. Now I’ve come to embrace it.

So too with writing. Rather than wait for the perfect creative moment to write, sitting down and doing it regularly can become rewarding. When I get home and really don’t want to run, but do it anyway, I feel great. When I really feel like I don’t have an ounce of creative energy left but stick to my scheduled writing time, the word count for that day feels like a bonus. If I didn’t push myself to keep running consistently, and find ways to enjoy it and track progress, I’d probably develop the same hatred I used to have for it. If I kept thinking I needed to get emotionally worked up or wait for the perfect inspirational moment, writing would continue to be painful too. Trudging out every day regardless of mood is a great way to grow.

I tend to be all or nothing in everything most things (side note: I wrote “everything” without even realizing the irony and had to keep it there to make a point about how true it is) I do. I also get easily distracted. Rather than convince myself that I can work casually when I have the time and not give in to distractions (an all or nothing attitude about changing my entire personality) I have found workarounds to better suite my personality. I need structured time, I need to track progress to see a return on that time, and I need a set schedule to stick with. Consistency is the key to growth.

I hate fantasy football.  I also love fantasy football.  It’s so addicting and absorbing that once you’re into it, there’s no turning back.  I had a good start to my fantasy football career.  I won the league title back-to-back years, and took first in the regular season the other year.  I felt unstoppable.  Once we shifted to a pay league that included keepers, I knew I would be winning championships for years to come.

Only, it didn’t happen that way.  I feel like the 90’s Buffalo Bills.  I have great regular seasons, a good team, and continually fall short of winning the title.  The problem is, no matter how much you plan, how effectively you strategize, and who your players are, there’s always a factor of complete luck.  You’re dealing with nothing but statistics.  There’s no team chemistry, there’s no on the fly game adjustment, or substitutions.  You pick the players that you believe give you the greatest statistical chance of winning and then wait and watch.

It’s practically torture.  You can build a team that appears invincible and then watch as a bunch of no names steal touchdowns from you while playoff teams rest their starters down the stretch.  That is exactly what happened to me this year.  A combination of injuries and bad luck led to yet another disappointing year.

What made it sting more is that I gave up a lot thinking I was in a great position to win it all.  I gave up future draft picks and quality keepers.  I managed to get DeAngelo Williams when I already had Ray Rice, Joseph Addai, and Marion Barber (we start 3 rb’s).  I also swung a last second deal for Chad Ochocinco for the stretch run.  But then it all went downhill.

Here’s what happened during my semi-final matchup:

-       Ochocinco and Donal Driver had very similar stats and played teams with similar pass defenses.  Following the “go with who got you there” mentality, I went with Driver.  Result?  Similar receiving yards, but Ochocinco had a touchdown and a long run.  Difference – about 7 points left on my bench.

-       DeAngelo Williams ran for only 13 yards before leaving his game with an injury.  On my bench, Marion Barber rushed for two touchdowns.  Difference – about 15 points left on my bench.

-       Kurt Warner threw a pass backwards to Anquan Boldin for a touchdown.  They would later rule it a lateral and rushing td instead of a passing td, so my opponent, who starter Warner, would lose 6 points, increasing my chances.

-       But of course, he gets two touchdowns from, of all people Fred Davis and Steve Smith.  Sure Smith had a lot of yards this season, but he only had 7 td’s, one of those being the week I played him.  And Fred Smith?!  C’mon!

In the end, after subtracting the Warner touchdown, I lost by only six points.  It was heartbreaking.  What made it worse is the fact that in the following finals week, my points total in the third place game would’ve been enough to win it all had I advanced.  But that’s the way fantasy football goes.  You can have the highest scoring players at every position, but when the end of the season is near, and teams are resting up for the playoffs, you can watch your guys go scoreless while backups like Fred Davis go wild.  Bring on next season.

Football season is finally just around the corner.  I’ve had a long, unlucky fantasy baseball season and am a bit burned out by the long haul of summer.  I’m leaning towards sitting out next baseball season and giving fantasy basketball another shot.  Nothing compares to fantasy football though.  There’s more at stake (money and trash talking), there’s more involvement by everyone in the league, and there’s more excitement.

We are in our fourth year of a 12-team football keeper league.  We have only lost two players in the four years, so everyone knows each other’s strategies and bargaining styles.  Everyone except newcomer Victor, who is destined for a number one pick next season (we draft in reverse order of standings).

This year, we decided to do a live draft.  We went all out: a conference room in Eric’s office, a draft board with player name stickers, and people flying in from out of town.  We had nine of the twelve guys in the room and the remaining three on video conference.  We had a timer projected onto a screen that had a buzzer sound when time ran out.  We had laptops out, magazines bookmarked, and people scrambling to cram some research.  We were ready for a draft.

Imran started things off with his only good pick of the day, Maurice Jones-Drew.  He had the unfortunate circumstance of trading Tony Romo and losing Tom Brady all in the span of 24 hours last season.  I found it hilarious.  He spent his season selling players for draft picks left and right.  You would think stockpiling three extra picks and making an effort to have good young keepers would really benefit him coming into this draft, but no.

There were no real surprises in the first round picks.  Adrian Peterson, Michael Turner, Matt Forte all followed the first pick.  I was choosing seventh and took Larry Fitzgerald.  I know it was risky taking a WR before a RB, but his consistency makes it worth it in my eyes.  Our first real questionable pick of the day came courtesy of Ching when he took Knowshon Moreno in the 4^th round.  I’d be uncomfortable taking him in the 7^th round so I’m not sure what he was thinking.  I gave away a 5^th round pick and an 8^th round pick to Keith and Imran, so I really had to make the most of my early round choices.  I based my draft around my keepers and tried to fill my roster at each spot.  I feel like I was successful doing that, but we’ll see. Fantasy football is so completely unpredictable because you never know who’s going to get hurt for an extended period and which scrub on a last place team is going to score 3 touchdowns on you in the worst possible week.  It’s part of what makes fantasy football so much fun.

We had our first draft day trade a few rounds later.  Tridi made the call from Austin to Phil and swapped picks to move up in the 6^th round.  It was exciting to see Phil get the call one pick away as he agreed to the deal.  Tridi took Julius Jones, whom I was tempted to take.  In hindsight, I’m happy he used the trade to grab him because I would’ve regretted that pick.  There’s something about Julius Jones that always makes him more tempting than he should be on draft day.  He always let’s you down.

Tridi made a similar deal with Keith in the 12^th round.  It’s such a crapshoot in those later rounds as everyone around the table asks, “who’s that?” with each pick, so I’m not really sure what the value was in that.  But trades are always fun and I’m jealous I didn’t do it.  After those deals, it came down to IDP (Individual Defensive Player) picks and kickers.  By this point, James was choosing players based on funny sounding names (Tapp, Atari Bigby), which always seems to work out for him.  And by always seems to work out for him, I don’t mean it makes his squad better; he’s never made the playoffs.  I mean he consistently has the best-named players on his roster year in and year out.  You have to take successes where you can.

I feel pretty confident about my draft results, but then again, I always do.  I’m surprised players like Le’Ron McClain and Donald Driver slipped to me in the 9^th and 13^th rounds.  I’m not saying they’re fantasy all-stars, but the value from the rounds is potentially high.  I’m also happy with my team defense selections and defensive players.  I resisted the temptation to reach for “sleepers” and focused on value as much as possible in the later rounds.  All in all, I’d rate my draft third behind Phil and Eric.  I really like the total team they were able to put together considering they both drafted towards the end.  I liked Phil getting Marques Colston in the 3^rd round, followed by Jason Witten.  I liked some of Eric’s later picks: getting Hines Ward late and investing in Shonn Greene and Hakeem Nicks.

As for worst drafts, I think Ching hands down had the worst pick of the draft: Matt Leinart in the 14^th round.  I’d put two kickers on my roster before drafting Leinart.  He’s not even guaranteed a backup position yet.  Overall, I think Imran had the worst draft, which is impressive considering he had the top pick.  In his first six picks he took a guy everyone thought retired (Derrick Mason), a guy everyone thinks should retire (Willie Parker), and a tight end in the 4^th round that I would bet money doesn’t outperform the tight end I took in the 11^th.  That would be bad enough, but he followed those picks up with more trouble.  He took the first team defense (never something to brag about) and then three straight IDP players, essentially saying, “no guys, I am not interested in looking for any sleeper players or keepers for next year.  You all go ahead.”  In all fairness, he did sneak in a few offensive players with the picks he had traded for, but then he took more IDP players and a kicker.  The best thing though, was his selection of JaMarcus Russell, which would’ve won worst pick of the draft if not for Ching.

It was a lot of fun doing the draft in person and I hope we make it a habit.  I’m looking forward to making waiver wire moves before injured players are done being carried off the field, questionable deals, and trading more draft picks.  Let the 2009 Fantasy Football season begin!

When the NBA Finals matchup was set – the Lakers vs the Orlando Magic, I knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. The Lakers would be champions again. I resigned myself to this and accepted the exponential increase of Laker flags on the 405. As much as I despise the Lakers as a rival team to the Suns, from a simple unbiased fan of basketball perspective, I was very disappointed with this year’s Finals.

Full disclaimer: I hate the Lakers. I enjoy when they lose. I enjoy being in the city of Los Angeles when the Lakers are losing. I hate Kobe Bryant. I know he’s one of the greatest players ever to play, but I don’t like him. He doesn’t appear to be a good teammate. He’s so image conscious it’s a joke. So there you go.

Besides my own personal hatred of the Lakers, this was an ugly series in general to watch. As Bill Simmons wonderfully covered a few weeks ago, NBA refereeing is at an all time low. The calls are so inconsistent. It’s like strike zones: sure, each ump is going to have to their own interpretation, but the players adjust. The umps don’t change their strike zone in the middle of the same game though. This is exactly what’s happening in the NBA. Players get roughed up until someone gets pissed and then the slightest touch is called a foul the rest of the way. Not only that, but home court advantage in terms of calls has reached WWE levels of ridiculous. The calls being made in this series were so frustrating to watch most of the time, for both teams.

The coaching by Stan Van Gundy was awful too. I hate listening to games on ABC and ESPN because it means being forced to hear the jaded, funny once every ten attempts musings of Jeff Van Gundy. Jeff Van Gundy goes out of his way to rip everyone he can – except of course his brother, even when playing the entire fourth quarter of a crucial game 3 without a point guard. Seriously, Stan Van Gundy couldn’t have screwed up his rotation any more than he did in his handling of bringing Jameer Nelson back. He overplayed him in Game 1, underplayed him in Game 2, and then had no clue what to do after that. Yet never a word from Jeff. If Stan had eased Jameer into the rotation, not thrown ball handling responsibilities onto Hedo in crunch time, and adjusted more quickly to the Lakers’ defense of Dwight Howard, we would’ve had a series. In spite of all his efforts, the Magic still came two tough shots (Courtney Lee’s missed lob layup and Derek Fisher’s clutch 3) away from a 3-1 series lead going into last night’s game.

The fact that it was closer than the final series outcome indicates goes to one other point that bothered me throughout the playoffs. Once it was down to the final four teams, it was clear there would be no great team this year. Every team had some flaws and none of the teams had that championship mindset that so many other great teams have had. We all knew Denver was full of headcases and would fall apart eventually, but during the regular season, it wouldn’t surprise anyone to see the Lakers or Magic get blown out by the Grizzlies on a lazy night. You couldn’t say that about teams like the early 2000’s Lakers, the Spurs, or even the recent good Piston teams. It’s been said better than me by many others already, but teams were so conscious of cost savings that there were no big trades this year for that “missing piece” on teams that were close. Everybody showed up to the playoffs with whatever weapons they had. That led to some close, exciting games at every round, but no great teams. It’s fun to watch a great team click, even if they do so finishing off the team you’re rooting for.

Finally, one thing I got sick of was hearing how badly Kobe wanted this. Sure Kobe’s great, but it takes a team to win it all. I don’t think he’ll ever know this, holding up four fingers and congratulating himself on a job well done at the end. Let’s not forget that this was a below .500 team with Kobe running the show until a highway robbery trade landed them Pau Gasol. Kobe’s personality reflected the image of the entire team. This Laker team was so boring to watch. They clocked in at tip off and clocked out at the final buzzer. They had the player talent to be a dynasty, but they’ll settle for flawed champion in a tough economic year. You want to see the anti-Lakers, look at the Cavs. They were fun to watch. That was a team that played as a team to exceed expectations. When you see the roster on paper, there’s no way they should have been so close to the Finals. Besides Lebron, there’s nobody on that team that can be considered a viable second option.

This year’s NBA Finals was definitely anti-climatic. I only hope that the league will take a long hard look at their referees and how they’re developed in the coming seasons. I also hope that the lack of a dynasty team and a more level playing field will continue to lead to some very exciting games next year. I just hope I don’t have to watch Kobe jut out his lower jaw and scream at his teammates because he really wants it anymore than I did this year.